This weekend is going to be the beginning of changes for me. At least that is my mind-set. I'm probably not going to be working out until the kids go back to school and I'm home alone by myself though. I know how to properly eat, the husband and I have done this before I just didn't work out or all that hard at it.
I enjoy having the day to myself to do whatever I need to get done without interruption. It gives me time to sort my thoughts and do the work I need to do around the house. But I'm going to be setting some time during the day to start working out.
My oldest has a few games for the Xbox360 that I can use to start working out. I'll just have to see if I can figure it out because I'm really a computer gamer and not a console gamer. I would really prefer to work out alone and in my own house than to face the daunting fact that if I go to a gym I'll be spending money that could be used for something else and will probably stop going because I can't handle the staring and then my mind will start playing tricks on me and I will start having a dialog going on in my head of what the skinny people at the gym think of my fat ass trying to work out. I will go into paranoid mode and I will feel every jiggle, start to think of how horrible my clothes are fitting, what I look like, and feel every drop of sweat start to trickle.
The husband and kids don't know I'm going to be doing this for myself. I'm planning on keeping this to myself until I start seeing some results. I have to find my soft measuring tape so I can do the horrifying task of measuring how dense my fat is. Oh, it's already on my desk... damn measuring tape. I'm filled with dread just looking at it. It's one of those hard truths of reality that will be written down so I can take account of it.
Happy New Year to you all. I wish you all the best with whatever you've decided to do for yourselves.
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